Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
