if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
