i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
