I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm at about main and main street
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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