i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
