Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
