someone threw a dead crab at me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
