That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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