I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
