Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
