you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
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Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
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And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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