How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
