Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
