i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
In America we eat man semen.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
