I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
