Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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