i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
