Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
