I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
