Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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