let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
either way he was missing a nipple.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
