plz talk dirty to me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
