some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just want to make out with him forever
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
