Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He did a backflip because drugs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize