I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Farmville is her only friend.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
