lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So squirting runs in the family.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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