She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
