I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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