you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
