I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
