Someone shit on the floor
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
