whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
