i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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