mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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