She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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