I'm going to jail i love you
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
