party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
