Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
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"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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