just come out here and I will go home with you...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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