Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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