im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
