So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
