Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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