I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
