trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
