Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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