Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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