there's paper in my vomit.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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