i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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