so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
