well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
