I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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