Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
