Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
