it wasn't lemon gatorade
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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