Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
