So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
