Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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