RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
is wine microwaveable?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
