My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
