Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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