maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you will always have a special place in my vag
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize