Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So much rum. So many feels.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
