the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
