i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
