so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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