it hurts more in the daytime
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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