Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
