that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
