if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize