I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
