I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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