When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize