Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
