I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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