You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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