if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
