I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
