12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
