they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
